Disoriented

Systematic Theology is an interesting class. It is just a little too much for 2 hours, right after lunch. Normally I have my laptop with me, and I pass the time playing solitaire and spider solitaire while putting forth a sincere effort to stay awake and pay attention. However, upon returning to my room to get my dear laptop today, Ruth had left it on and unplugged, resulting in no power. Therefore, no laptop... So I actually took notes. And tried to pay attention. And what do you know? Now I have a lot to blog about...

Today we talked about faith and repentance, issues that I sincerely believe that most Christians don't think about and consider enough. Our faith is complex and the way that we live our lives should hinge on our belief, therefore serious consideration should be given to these seemingly simple issues. What is faith? What is repentance?

When it comes to faith and the whole process of election, salvation, and sanctification, I find myself questioning and reconsidering of late. The conclusions that I have come to at this point are as follows:

For His own divine purpose and good pleasure (why He would find pleasure in this, I do not know), God chose me before time. Wow. He did NOT choose me based on any foreknowledge. He didn't see that I would be receptive to His Gospel and choose me because of it, He chose me because He will be glorified in it and because He takes pleasure in it. All I can do is be sincerely appreciative for this gift of life that I do not deserve. Because of this decision to take mankind and redeem those He chose, Christ had to step in and take the punishment of sin upon Himself. Therefore, Christ, Who in His very nature is LIFE, submitted Himself to death. While hanging on the cross, He bore the wrath and hatred of God. I cannot imagine the depths of the suffering of the Lamb of God. But because He took my place, I now have life. Not only do I have life, but I have fellowship with God and innumerable and immeasurable spiritual blessings.

As I have discussed in a past post, the idea that God, YHWH, the One True God, impregnated a Jewish girl to give birth to His holy Son, who would grow up only to die on a pile of trash outside of Jerusalem is absolutely absurd to the human mind. Of my own human volition, I would never buy it. Who would? Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned." (1 Corinthians 2:14) So, praise God, He granted me faith. I have come to the conclusion that God reveals Himself and His love, His lavishness, His grace, His freedom, and His life to those whom He has chosen. What else can our response be but to choose Him? We were created for fellowship with Him. It is what it means to be human. If a lion is offered a salad or a steak, the lion will choose the steak. It is what he was made for. If God offers life or death, love or wrath, our natural inclination will be to choose life and love.

I have not been able to fully flesh out all of the implications of this doctrine, but I know that I am chosen, that I have eternal life. I know that I have been offered the love of God and that God has granted me the faith to believe it. There are points in all of this doctrine that I could be wrong about, that I have misunderstood, but over the past year, this is where I have found myself.

Today I was challenged to rethink repentance and its implications. Repentance, as I have been taught growing up, is a turning from a lifestyle of sin and choosing to walk in obedience. However, this was challenged today. Repentance can certainly entail this obedience, but our salvation cannot rest on our choice to never sin again. It is a commitment that we break every single day. Perhaps we can alter our language in this theology. As Luther put it, repentance is a reorientation. It is a choice to no longer be oriented to self, but to God. And out of this choice, out of our new desire to please God, we choose to say no to sin and self, and say yes to the things of God.

I have found the thought of reorientation far more profound and impacting than the thought of choosing to sin no more. Because I will sin again. And again. And again. And again. But if I reshape my thinking to reorient my mindset, my heart, and my will to the things of God rather than the things of self, it is something that can be decided instantaneously by the grace of God, a choice that will no doubt include flux, but can redefine my life.

Death to sin, coming alive in Christ.

It is a daily labor, but hopefully a labor of love. It is a labor that brings life and joy. It brings us into closer fellowship with God, and perpetuates our conformity to Christ.