Tuesday, April 26, 2011

35 days

I wish that when he told me that he was going to come home I could cry a little less, and believe him just a little bit more. He says he has peace about it. I wish I had that peace. I wish that every day of silence didn't amount to a day of me imagining worst case scenarios and constantly wondering what he was doing and where he was at. I wish my life didn't revolve around hoping for stupid Facebook notifications signifying a message from him or that he had commented on something. I wish that every morning when my cell phone alarm went off I didn't get my hopes up thinking it was him calling. I wish that every night before I fell asleep I didn't have to try so hard to imagine what it was like to have him sleeping beside me, trying to find a comfortable way to press my face against his back, listening to the way he breathed when he fell asleep. I wish I knew when I will see him again, when I will hear his voice and feel his heartbeat, and for once be able believe with absolute certainty that everything is going to be okay.

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